Having
sex is a sexual activity between a man and a woman; it could also be
a sexual activity between a woman and a woman, or a man and a man,
but in this essay I would like to write is about the first one. The
activity is the most pleasant activity. People are allowed to do that
after getting marriage. That is only a statement; in reality many
people have done it before getting marriage.
In
Indonesia, Jakarta especially, having love before marriage used to be
a shame. However, that was the past time, now the cultures have
change. When I was in Jakarta I had found “dreadful” facts about
men and women living together, free-sex, and how the society sees
those1.
I stayed for a while in my cousin’s friend’s boarding house. In
that boarding house, men and women living together is usual, even
though they are not married, or in Indonesia we call it “kumpul
kebo”.
How the society sees this phenomena, they see this as a usual thing,
that a conclusion that I take. Another thing that makes it ironic is
the boarding house is near mosque. Another fact that I had
experienced was when one of my friends asked me whether I have ever
made love or not, when I said, I have not, they laughed at me. They
said I haven’t synchronized to the Jakarta ways, which means I have
to make love.
What
about in Padang, the condition is not big different with in Jakarta.
My friend’s ex-girlfriend had made love with her boyfriend. A few
months ago a porn video, which stared by a student of a senior high
school in Padang and the man from another high-school, had
discovered. Because of those facts I am afraid how is the next
generation would be? What about my sisters? How about my future wife
would be? How about my friends, who are still virgin, can they keep
in that way? And the most important question is how would this
country be? The research has not done yet. There are so many why’s
and how’s that I keep searching for the answers.
In
contrast, when I thought doing free-sex is usual in the West. Just
like Hollywood movies that I have watched. People do it as easy as
buying a candy, you can do it with a girl that you just met. My
thoughts have changed after meeting and doing conversation with my
lecturer, Ms. Brita. She said the lives of the Western are not
completely as the same as in the movies2.
The statement is strengthened by Ms. Brita friends, Jennifer and
Alice. They said Americans give big respect to virginity. Parents
have taught their children to wait until they get married.
Having
sex in my society, depends on me, fits with group society. If your
friends do that, you have to do that too. It also fits with indirect
conversation. In my society, it is rude to talk about sex.
Having
sex is the most pleasant activity. The decision, having sex or not,
is depending on you. However, there would be better if you wait until
marriage and give your husband or wife your virginity. Or if you make
decision to do so, it would be better for you to do safe sex. Just
think before you do that, especially for women. Once you do that your
hymen will not be back.
1
Def’s recollection
2
Interviewed Ms. Brita
